Hubby Relationship and Parenting Inspiration

February 03, 2011

I am following a super sweet mom and re-read one of her blogs today. I would like to share an excerpt from that blog because it has given me inspiration to do better with my parenting skills involving my beloved hubby.

Source: http://raechelmyers.blogspot.com/2009/10/all-answers-part-deux.html

Your relationship with Ryan seems to be so strong. Maybe it's because you have known each other for so long. Maybe you are able to read books together....I don't know. What is your secret?
Again, thank you. :) Ryan and I have been friends for twenty years (yes, we met when we were both 7 years old!). We were friends for years long before we ever considered each other for marriage material. I think that helps for sure.

We have also walked together through a lot of heartache in our six years of marriage. Surviving the loss of our daughter certainly taught us to give each other a lot of grace and to not sweat the small stuff. If he wants to wear contacts instead of glasses and leave his top button unbuttoned with a tie, I say that's his prerogative, even if I may have a different idea. We know when to choose battles and when to respect each other.

This is especially true in parenting - as much as possible, we do not contradict on another as we instruct Oliver. If Ryan says O can't wear Crocs and is standing firm in a moment of parenting, even if I know he'd be fine in Crocs I go with what Daddy says. We always choose each other's side. It's important that we respect each other for our child to see.

I also pray for him. He is the leader of our home and that is a big responsibility. He carries a lot of burdens so that I do not have to and I respect that tremendously. He is an excellent husband and the more I honor and respect him, the more reasons I seem to see that he deserves to be respected. (I'm no relationship expert, but I do know that even if you think your husband is not so "respectable", honoring him Biblically often makes a man want to give you more reason to honor him.) Did that make sense?

Learn each other's Love Languages and tell your husband you love him in his language. (This goes for children as well!)

Finally, we were advised early on in our relationship that when we are in doubt, to "trust one another's hearts". If something Ryan says or does is hurtful, I remind myself of how much he loves me and quite often give him the benefit of the doubt that he does indeed love me and did not intend his action for harm. I've been amazed at how many times he actually did not mean harm and I've been grateful for those times I've not jumped to a defensive conclusion.

Oh, and one last thing. One of the first verses we taught Oliver and one that continues to challenge us in our home:
"A soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1

Oh, and spend quality time together. Be friends and not just co-workers in your home. Make time for each other alone on a regular basis. Kids are important, but they need Mommies and Daddies who are deeply in love to feel secure.

That's really it. :)

Keywords: marriage

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Hubby Relationship and Parenting Inspiration